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November 10, 2018 Podcast

Season 1 Episode 13: Taking Care of Yourself During a Divorce

Gailor Hunt
Gailor Hunt
Season 1 Episode 13: Taking Care of Yourself During a Divorce

In Episode 13, host Jaime Davis discusses the importance of self-care during the divorce process with fellow family law attorney Lynn McNally. This episode addresses such issues as: What is self-care? Why is self-care important during a divorce? What can you do to ensure you are taking care of yourself during a divorce?

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Note: Our Podcast, “A Year and a Day: Divorce Without Destruction”, was created to be heard, but we provide text transcripts to make this information accessible to everyone. All transcripts on our website are created using a combination of speech recognition software and human transcribers and could contain errors.

Jaime Davis: Welcome to Episode 13 of ‘A Year and a Day’. I’m your host, Jaime Davis. In Episode 12, I discussed evidence in family law cases with former Gailor Hunt interns, Olivia Daniels and Massarelli. In this episode I will be discussing the importance of self-care during the divorce process with fellow family law attorney, Lynn McNally. Lynn is a board certified family law specialist and partner with the Smith Debnam Law Firm here in Raleigh. You may recall that Lynn joined us on Episode 2 of the podcast to discuss the pros and cons of mediation and family law cases. And we are glad to have Lynn back with us today. Welcome, Lynn.

Lynn McNally: Hey Jaime. Thanks for having me again.

Jaime Davis: So as people navigate the divorce process, I find that they are usually aware that they need to consider the legal implications of their current marital situation but that they often overlook one crucial area, and that area is self-care. Would you agree?

Lynn McNally: I do agree. It’s, um, a common issue with all of my clients that they come to you specifically geared to talk about the facts of their case, but they don’t come in such a way that they are physically or mentally prepared to go through everything they’re gonna have to deal with in the divorce process.

Jaime Davis: Right. There’s definitely more to it than how the law is going to apply to the facts of their particular case.

Lynn McNally: It, it’s, it’s much more than that. I mean, that’s the important part for us. Um, but the important part for our clients is that they get through it in a way that they can actually thrive and not just deconstruct.

Jaime Davis: Right. So you have to stay healthy. And in order to stay healthy, I think that you need to practice really good self-care. How would you define self-care?

Lynn McNally: Well, I can define it for me because I’ve been thinking about self-care for me for several years now. Um, and for me, it’s being mindful of what I’m doing for myself on a daily basis that allows me to be clear headed, um, that allows me to sleep well, uh, that allows me to feel good so that I can be productive in my dayto-day life. I can maintain good relationships. I can do my job well for my clients. I can interact with people well. Um, there’s a lot that goes into that that if you’re not mindful of it, you may, you may not get it.

Jaime Davis: Right. Absolutely. So it sounds like we’re talking about a few different things here. Maybe we’re talking about emotional health. Also physical health. And maybe some sort of, I guess, how we could define it as relational health. Maybe how your relationships are –

Lynn McNally: Yes.

Jaime Davis: – um, with other folks.

Lynn McNally: Absolutely.

Jaime Davis: So let’s talk about emotional health first. When we talk about emotional health, what do we mean?

Lynn McNally: Well, what I mean is the ability to go through – for my clients, particularly – for them to go through the grieving process in a way that is productive. Um, and, and that might look different to each person. Um, some people, most people, probably, um, need to be able to process the feelings that they are experiencing when they go through a divorce with somebody who can help them. Sometimes that’s a friend. Um, sometimes it’s a family member. Uh, but many times it’s helpful to have an objective professional, like, a counselor or a therapist to help you process those feelings. Um, I, I don’t think you can be emotionally healthy until you have had an opportunity to actually feel those feelings and process them, um, in a productive way ’cause there are plenty of times that my clients will process or ignore those emotions in destructive ways.

Jaime Davis: Right. I think it’s really important that you refer to it as a grieving process. Because it’s so true. For many people, going through a divorce is much like dealing with the death of a loved one, and you’re going to experience those various stages of grief at different points during the divorce process, and if you are not at least cognizant of that fact, um, and try to, you know, develop an understanding of what is going on with your emotions, you’re gonna have a really hard time dealing with that.

Lynn McNally: Mm hmm. Yeah, divorce is definitely a loss, um, and a process that you need to grieve, and there’s also that added issue of the unknown.

Jaime Davis: Right.

Lynn McNally: When you are starting through the divorce process there are so many questions about how, how are you gonna make financial ends meet? What am I gonna do when I don’t have the children on Christmas? I mean, there’s this just huge load of unknown that can just, um, send you into a tailspin. Um, and so it’s important, I think, for, for you to have somebody who can help you process that and to give you tools to manage those, um, stressful and anxious emotions as they come up during the process.

Jaime Davis: So in addition to having a person that you can talk to – whether it be your therapist or a friend or a family member – what do you think are some other things to consider in terms of making sure you’re taking care of your emotional health during the divorce?

Lynn McNally: One question that I get from my clients fairly regularly is whether they’re gonna get penalized by a judge or by the opposing party if they actually seek help, uh, from, let’s say, a therapist. Um, and I, I understand that concern. What I say to those clients is that recognizing that you have an issue that you’d like to deal with in a constructive way is actually, um, uh, a bonus, uh, that you’re, you’re seen as somebody who can recognize an issue, find the resource to help you resolve the issue, and move on in a positive way. So, I, I don’t, I don’t think that judges do hold it against people to seek the help that they need in this very difficult time.

Jaime Davis: No, I agree with you completely. I, I think the bigger issue is when folks don’t recognize that they have an issue and they don’t get the help that they need, maybe they start self-medicating, maybe they start drinking, maybe they turn to drugs or some other destructive behavior, and at the end of the day, that’s gonna be a much bigger detriment, especially to a custody case –

Lynn McNally: Mm hmm

Jaime Davis: – than if they would have just gone to the therapist and, you know, maybe gotten some medication. Maybe that’s what they needed.

Lynn McNally: Yeah.

Jaime Davis: Maybe they needed talk therapy. Um, but addressing the problem certainly shouldn’t be held against you.

Lynn McNally: Right. And you make a good point. And that is sometimes it’s appropriate for there to be some medication prescribed. Um, when it is, it’s a good thing. And it can be incredibly useful. Um, it’s generally not, in my experience, something that’s prescribed long term, but it’s something that helps you through the acute issues that you’re dealing with at the time.

Jaime Davis: Right. It’s situational.

Lynn McNally: That’s right. And it, and you shouldn’t feel bad about that. Uh, you shouldn’t, um, be embarrassed that that’s maybe an avenue that you have to explore during this really difficult time. Um, you should just do it mindfully with the help of the professional that’s, that you’re working with.

Jaime Davis: What do you think about folks that compare their divorces to, maybe, their friends’ divorces?

Lynn McNally: Uh, that is something – gosh, I deal with that all the time. Because everybody knows somebody that’s gone through this. Um, as people are going through it, they have three or four friends or family members that are going though it at the same time. It’s, it’s so prevalent, and it can be, it can appear comforting to talk to somebody who is similarly situated. Um, because they know in, in some respects what you’re going through. But it can be incredibly unproductive a lot of the time. Um, misery loves company.

Jaime Davis: That’s right.

Lynn McNally: And sometimes people can, can ramp each other up about things. Um, it, it is nearly impossible for you to compare your case, um, your facts to anybody else’s. It’s just not apples to apples. And I get lots of questions from my clients about why their friend is getting $2,500.00 a month in child support and they’re just getting $1,200.00 a month in child support. But if you have a different number of kids and a different custodial schedule, and people’s incomes are different, the outcomes are gonna be. Um, so it, it’s – connect with your friends, um, connect in a positive way. But recognize that your case can’t really be compared to another person’s.

Jaime Davis: Right. I mean, these situations are so fact specific, there is no way that what your friend is telling you about his or her divorce situation that he or she is going to tell you every single little detail that goes into the analysis of whether a particular custody schedule is in the best interest of particular children, right?

Lynn McNally: Mm hmm, right.

Jaime Davis: So, maybe the schedule is in the best interest of your friend’s kids, but maybe your kids have, I don’t know, a learning disability or some other special need that the schedule just won’t work for them.

Lynn McNally: Right.

Jaime Davis: And, you know, back to your child support example, they’re probably not gonna be sharing their income information with you, and so you’re not gonna have any idea where this child support number came from. I mean, I agree with you, it is great to bond with your friends over, over this experience because it is such a life-changing experience, but not to get bogged down in the detail of what did or did not happen in their case.

Lynn McNally: That’s right. Well, and with the advent of social media and meet-up groups and online platforms where people who are going through a divorce can communicate with each other, you don’t even know what states these people are in.

Jaime Davis: That’s right.

Lynn McNally: And the law from state to state on these issues can vary so greatly, you just can’t compare.

Jaime Davis: Agreed. What do you think it does for a person’s emotional health to begin dating immediately following separation?

Lynn McNally: Oh, um, in general, I advise against that – not just for the emotional health issue but for, for plenty of other legal reasons. But I, I think that it has to take some significant time to process. Um, and, and you can compare that to nonmarital relationships, you know, when you’re sort of – what’s it – a rebound relationship, right? That’s what it’s called. Um, it’s called that for a reason. And it’s usually not a good reason.

Jaime Davis: Right.

Lynn McNally: Um, jumping back into something so quickly, I, I don’t think allows the opportunity for you to fully process the emotions that you have to deal with going through the divorce. Um, again, there are a lot of other legal implications that dating could have. Um, and it, it’s a distractor thing. I mean, part of, in my opinion, self-care is being mindful and really being in the moment of understanding what you’re going through, what you’re feeling, um, and, and being present. And I feel like jumping back into a dating relationship is just something that distracts. It’s, it’s not, you’re not trying to process the emotion, you’re trying to ignore the emotion.

Jaime Davis: That’s right. And you’re putting all of your emotionally focus on someone else, right?

Lynn McNally: Yes.

Jaime Davis: Instead of turning it in toward yourself and saying, what can I do to, No. 1, make myself feel better, and No. 2, to be better you are turning your efforts outward and, you know, trying to create some brand new relationship with someone else and I think that that can be, as you said, very distracting.

Lynn McNally: Mm. That’s a good point. Um, we only have so much energy, and when you are going through the divorce process, you really need to conserve your energy, and you need to conserve your focus to make the difficult decisions that you’re gonna have to make. Um, and not get distracted from that process.

Jaime Davis: Right. Because typically, this is not a short process that we’re talking about. I mean, a, a typical divorce in North Carolina is going to take at least a year and a day, right?

Lynn McNally: Sure.

Jaime Davis: And so you need to be able to have the energy to make it through that year and get through the process.

Lynn McNally: That’s right. And, and you will get through that process. I, I have heard one of my law partners say for many years to her clients that you will feel like a different person in 12 months. And it sounded kinda trite when I heard it the first time, but I have seen it play out in almost every case. Um, you can heal through the process, and you can come out better on the other side. You just have to trust the process a little bit, and do the work to get there.

Jaime Davis: Well, and, you know, this may sound trite as well, but there, there’s something kind of nice about getting a do over. You know?

Lynn McNally: Right.

Jaime Davis: Maybe, maybe you liked the way things were the first time around with your marriage; maybe you liked the person that you had become. Maybe you didn’t wanna be separated, but the reality of the situation is that you are separated now, and you’ve got this great opportunity for a do over to do whatever things it is you want to do with the rest of your life.

Lynn McNally: That’s right. And, and even in those moments, which anybody who goes through the divorce process will have, it’s hard to see the positive sometimes. And it’s in those moments that I think an act of self-care, whatever that means to you, is the most important, whether that’s taking 10 minutes to sit down and just breathe, or writing in a journal if that’s your thing or taking a walk outside and just sort of refocusing and being present. I mean, you need those moments. You need those mindful activities in the times that you just can’t see the positive. Because they help. They really help you find that positive again.

Jaime Davis: So why is it that taking care of your emotional health during a divorce is so important?

Lynn McNally: Well, from the perspective of a family law attorney, I can do more more efficiently for my clients who are healthy enough to engage with me actively in this process. There are plenty of things I can do for my clients, but there are some things that I absolutely cannot do for them. Um, I can’t tell myself what assets exist. I can’t make a decision for my client about what custodial schedule he or she is willing to accept. I can’t tell my client what kind of custodial schedule we’re gonna ask the court to order if it comes to that. Um, there are some very important decisions that only my clients can make, and those who take care of their emotional health during the process are more equipped to make those decisions, and, and make good decisions in that regard.

Jaime Davis: Right. I think there is a danger when folks are first separated that they become paralyzed –

Lynn McNally: Yes.

Jaime Davis: – um, and unable, really, to make any decision because of the anxiety and stress that being separated causes. I mean, again, it is a huge life change, and so completely normal to feel these emotions, but the key is to find a way out of that particular situation, and as you said, whether it’s take a walk or refocus, or, you know, take meds, whatever you need to do, you’ve got to be able to move forward and to put one foot in front of the other. Um, something I tell my clients a lot is to not, especially at the beginning, to think big picture, because that can be very overwhelming. To take it day by day and to baby step through each individual issue, and, hopefully, by doing that, you know, you’re not gonna get overwhelmed with oh my gosh what is the Christmas schedule gonna look like if it’s, you know, January 15th. Let’s worry about what’s gonna happen tomorrow.

Lynn McNally: Mm hmm.

Jaime Davis: Who’s gonna have the kids tomorrow?

Lynn McNally: Yep.

Jaime Davis: How are you gonna pay this month’s bills? Let’s, let’s talk about that stuff first. Um, so yeah, I think it’s really important for these folks to practice self-care so that they can help us do that.

Lynn McNally: Right. Well and that, the, the concept of picking your battles is huge. Um, you don’t have to fight every battle with your spouse as you’re going through this process. You shouldn’t fight every battle. Um, and, and those of my clients who are aware of caring for their emotional health throughout the process are better equipped to pick their battles. And they feel more comfortable letting something go when that’s not gonna advance their cause at the end of the day. Um, when, when you’re going through a separation and divorce, you’re probably already somewhat locked into this acrimony with your spouse, and that’s the norm. You don’t have to do that anymore. You can detach from being in constant fight-or-flight mode and start to pick your battles, and those people that have, have mindfully chosen to take care of their emotional health can do that a little better than others.

Jaime Davis: That’s right. Everything does not have to be an emergency.

Lynn McNally: Right.

Jaime Davis: I think that when you are first beginning this process, there is a tendency to get stuck or caught in fight-or-flight mode and everything little thing that happens, you know, sends you over the edge, and –

Lynn McNally: Right.

Jaime Davis: – it doesn’t have to be that way.

Lynn McNally: No, it doesn’t. And when you recognize that, that in and of itself is a huge step, um, toward self-care.

Jaime Davis: What are some things that you can do to proactively take care of your emotional health during a divorce?

Lynn McNally: Well, I think seeing a, talking to a person, whether that is a prof – a mental health professional or a, a support system, whether those are friends or family members, those are good active steps that you can take. Um, and I, I think that you can do that regardless of your financial picture. Um, there are loads of resources out there for ways that you can take care of your mental health, whether that’s just calling your, your insurance company and, um, asking them who’s in network. Um, or finding a trusted friend who’s gonna listen to you and not ramp you up. You want somebody who’s gonna be constructive about it, but you can find that trusted friend to talk to. Or, or a family member. So maintaining good relationships with people, um, and, and using those relationships where you can – whether it’s a professional relationship with a therapist or a personal relationship, those are both good steps to take in the way of, of managing your emotional health. And then I think, um, things, like, meditation, journaling if that’s your deal, um, you know, we’ll, we’ll talk about exercise as part of the physical health component of this, but I, I think that your physical and mental health are so tied together that you get huge benefits from your emotional health by taking care of your physical health. People, there are some people that enjoy reading, and so they might find a book or a topic, um, or a blog that, that they identify with and that helps them through the process. So I think it’s about figuring out what you enjoy doing that also makes you feel healthy. Um, those are the ways that just come to my mind that will help you care for your mental health.

Jaime Davis: And this may be a very basic thing, but it’s something that I’ve had clients tell me has helped them tremendously – make your home comfortable. If you were the person who stayed in the house and your spouse left but they left all of their stuff there and you just don’t wanna look at it anymore, maybe you pack it up and you put it in a box. You don’t get rid of it ’cause, you know, your lawyer is gonna probably tell you that’s a bad idea –

Lynn McNally: Right.

Jaime Davis: – but stick it in a box, maybe put it in the garage, maybe put it in a corner, but you don’t have to look at it anymore.

Lynn McNally: Mm hmm.

Jaime Davis: And you begin to make your home yours.

Lynn McNally: Right.

Jaime Davis: And if you’re the person that left and you’re setting up a new household, you know, maybe you get yourself some stuff that makes you feel good. Maybe a – decorated in the way that you like that your spouse would have never let you do. Something like that. But just these very basic things can be very helpful.

Lynn McNally: That’s a great point. And, you know, another thing that comes to mind with respect to actions that you can take to better your, your emotional and mental health, um, is is to be organized, and, and to simplify things. Um, you’re gonna be asked by your lawyers to put together an incredible amount of information. And if you can take that step by step and you can get your arms around what your assets and debts are and what everybody’s incomes are, um, and sort of simplify that process in your own mind, it just sorta clears the clutter.

Jaime Davis: Absolutely.

Lynn McNally: Um, I, I find that a, uh, the simpler my environment, the less cluttered my head. Um, and maybe that’s true for other folks, too.

Jaime Davis: Absolutely. Get yourself some file folders and file those papers –

Lynn McNally: That’s right.

Jaime Davis: – and, I mean, really, it’s like you’re, you’re clearing your mind as well while you’re doing that.

Lynn McNally: Exactly.

Jaime Davis: So we’ve talked a lot about self-care as it relates to emotional health. In addition to taking care of emotional health, you also need to make sure that you’re caring for your physical health during the divorce process as well. So what are some things that you can do?

Lynn McNally: Well, I have sort of a basic list of things that I, I think are important to physical health. Um, and that is eating. Don’t forget to eat.

Jaime Davis: Right.

Lynn McNally: Um, and being mindful of what you eat. Um, but, but usually, uh, the folks that I see that are going through this process become a bit depressed. And I see a lot of my clients lose a ton of weight. Um, and, and that’s probably not a healthy weight loss, so it, it, I, I think, becomes important for you to really be mindful about what you’re eating and make sure that you’re eating enough. Um, don’t self-medicate. Uh, if you need medication, get it the right way. Go to the doctor and have him or her prescribe it for you for the amount of time that you need it. But don’t take somebody else’s medication. Don’t, um, don’t take old medication that you got prescribed years ago. Don’t medicate with alcohol. Um, those, those are all things that, that just lead to your mind being cluttered. You know, I tie, like I said before, physical health and mental health so closely together that, that I think these kinds of things that you do physically can either help clear your head or can clutter it back up. Um, exercise is important, and exercise can be as simple as taking 10 minutes to stretch or going for a walk or you can be more aggressive and you can go get a great workout at the gym. Um, either way, if you move your body mindfully to, to have some activity and to get some exercise, that’s a good thing. And then, one of the things that I think is most important – maybe, maybe the most important thing – is sleep. Um, you gotta figure out how to sleep and sleep well. Um, and, and hopefully, the other things that we’ve just talked about – the eating well, the not self-medicating, the getting exercise – hopefully all those things lead you to be able to sleep restfully. But that’s another problem that my clients have during this process is that they don’t sleep well. And that’s another, um, opportunity to have a conversation with your doctor about whether it is appropriate to, to get medication for that or whether it’s not. But, but that’s a question for your doctor. And the only other thing I would add, um, find whatever activity that you can that reduces stress for you. And so if there is something that you historically have done that makes you feel good – maybe you like to go to art class or maybe you belong to a running club or whatever it is, keep doing that activity. Don’t let it fall by the wayside because you’re going through a separation.

Jaime Davis: Right.

Lynn McNally: You gotta keep doing what makes you feel good.

Jaime Davis: Yeah.

Lynn McNally: And the key to that one is what makes you feel good long term.

Jaime Davis: Right.

Lynn McNally: Not what makes –

Jaime Davis: Absolutely.

Lynn McNally: – you feel good for the moment. ‘Cause I could eat a whole pizza and drink a bottle of wine and I’d feel good –

Jaime Davis: Until tomorrow.

Lynn McNally: – until tomorrow.

Jaime Davis: So we’ve talked a lot about emotional health, physical health, taking care of ourselves to make sure that we can get through this process, what is the best way to make sure that you continue taking care of yourself during the process?

Lynn McNally: For me, I am a big list maker. And it helps me to put pen to paper, um, for, for whatever it is I’m, I’m doing. So I think one strategy, um, for actually accomplishing your self-care goals, whatever they are, is to put it in writing. Um, and, and then maybe you share that writing with somebody. Whether it’s a friend or a therapist or a coworker, somebody who will support you and help you be accountable for those things, who will ask you whether you went for your walk that day. Um, who will ask you whether you’ve eaten lunch. You know, people that can, can help police that for you and hold you accountable are ways that you can be successful actually doing those things. Um, I, I think just creating the habit is helpful. And creating habits takes a little bit of time, um, but once you have created the habit, it’s a little bit easier to do.

Jaime Davis: Right. I, I think it’s about having a plan, having a concrete plan with goals and then as you say, write that plan down. Because it’s harder to ignore if it’s on a piece of paper and staring you in the face.

Lynn McNally: Mm hmm. Yeah, and it’s, you know, you, you want to create the goals that are, um, achievable and reasonable, um, and that can be measured in some way because then you know that you’re accomplishing them and you get, you know, you’ll, it’s a small victory when you’ve accomplished one of your goals. Um, and when you continue to have those small victories, that adds up.

Jaime Davis: And I think an important component of a lot of these plans, is coming up with your team of professionals who are going to help you.

Lynn McNally: Yes.

Jaime Davis: Your divorce lawyer, your therapist, your accountant –

Lynn McNally: Mm hmm.

Jaime Davis: – your financial adviser.

Lynn McNally: That’s right.

Jaime Davis: Any other financial experts you may need to help you get through this process of dividing up the marital assets.

Lynn McNally: Right.

Jaime Davis: Come up with those people, write them down, make them part of your plan.

Lynn McNally: That’s right. Um, to have that team into place can really take a load off of you. I mean, like I said before, there are some things that we can’t do for our clients and, and the same can be said for some of those other professionals. But, um, once we all have the information that we need, we get to do the heavy lifting. Uh, we get to take your mind off it, um, so that you can continue to function in your everyday life. This is so consuming – this process. Um, you, you may find that if you’re going through a divorce you can’t focus at your job. And that’s not good. You, you probably need that job. I need my job. Um, or you can’t focus to take care of your children. Um, that’s huge. Especially if you have children – to, to practice self-care – because if you’re not taking care of yourself, I, I think that your children know. Um, and it’s also better when you are armed with, um, emotional and physical health to care for all the other people that you gotta care for during this difficult time.

Jaime Davis: Are there any resources out there that folks can look to for help with self-care?

Lynn McNally: Yeah, I think there are a ton of resources. Um, gotta be careful at what you’re looking at. Um, the Internet has a load of resources, some of them very good and some of them not good. So you just have to be careful and mindful about what you choose. Um, but beyond the Internet, actually interacting with people in a positive way in person is a good thing. And there are plenty of groups that are geared towards people going through a divorce. There is a divorce care group that generally meets at, uh, various churches that is an in-person support group for folks that are going through it. And I believe that there is a part of that divorce care group that is also geared towards children. So that’s a, an option for people. Um, again, calling your health insurance provider to find out what the resources are that are available through your insurance can be a huge benefit and you might uncover some things that you never knew you had access to. Um, whether those are counseling services or other kinds of alternative health services – acupuncture, massage, nutritionist – all those, um, resources can be great during a time like this. Um, there is a, a lot of, or there are a lot of books that are available for people, specifically geared towards people that are going through the divorce process. Um, and there are people that are geared towards self-care when you go through the divorce process. I think it’s a hot topic. Um, and over the past several years, there have been a lot of writers and authors who have put together books about this topic specifically. Um, there’s also a resource that is a triangle, uh, this area of North Carolina-related resource, and that’s Alliance Behavioral Healthcare, um, which is a web site that you can seek assistance for, uh, mental health needs and other kinds of resources that might be beneficial to you and your family when you’re going through a divorce.

Jaime Davis: Um, and I think another really important resource for folks who may be experiencing domestic violence is Interact.

Lynn McNally: Yes.

Jaime Davis: Um, if you are in Wake County, Interact is available to help you.

Lynn McNally: Yes, absolutely. They are a great resource for, for a lot of reasons, but certainly if you find yourself in a, a situation where domestic violence is part of the issue, they’re fantastic to work with.

Jaime Davis: Well, Lynn, thank you so much for joining us today and for your thoughtful discussion about self-care during the divorce process. If any of our listeners would like to get in touch with you, what is the best way for them to reach you?

Lynn McNally: The best way for folks to reach me is either at my direct office phone number, which is 9192502176. Or through the web site, and that’s

Jaime Davis: Well, thanks again for joining us today, Lynn.

Lynn McNally: Thank you.

Jaime Davis: I hope you all enjoyed this episode of A Year and a Day. If you have any suggestions for future episodes, I would love to hear from you. You can email me at If you like what you heard today, please leave us a review on iTunes. As a reminder, while in my role as a lawyer my job is to give folks legal advice, the purpose of this podcast is not to do that. This podcast is for general informational purposes only, should not be used as legal advice and is specific to the law in North Carolina. If you have questions before you take any action, you should consult with a lawyer who is licensed in your state.

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'A Year and a Day: Divorce Without Destruction' is a law podcast produced by Gailor Hunt Davis Taylor & Gibbs, PLLC partner Jaime Davis. You can learn more about Jaime's experience and expertise on her bio page. If you have a question about the podcast, you can email Jaime at Please note, the purpose of this podcast is not to give legal advice. This podcast is for general, informational purposes only and should not be used as legal advice. The information discussed in this podcast is specific to the laws in North Carolina. Before you take any legal action you should consult with a lawyer who is licensed in your state.
lynn mcnally podcast guest
The guest on this episode of our podcast is Lynn McNally, a family law attorney and partner at the law firm of Smith Debnam Narron Drake Saintsing & Myers, LLP, in Raleigh, North Carolina. You can learn more about Lynn's experience and expertise on her bio page. If you have a question about anything discussed in the podcast, you can email Lynn at

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